After going through some personal stuff, I finally decided that maybe staying in my apartment most of the time wasn’t the best way to meet people (crazy, I know!) I had no idea which ones were good, so I also branched out and joined a few, two pay sites, and one free one. I wasn’t sure what to expect from it, but quickly realized its much like real life. Most people don’t even respond, which I tried to avoid at the beginning, but I also started to do when people who looked like men added me, or something equally as non-good.
So I started contacting people on all the sites, and pretty quickly started to plan some dates. Because I hadn’t received responses from the handful I had contacted in the first few days, I almost turned it into a job search. Two of the websites had means of showing interest easily in someone without actually having to write a message, so I would do that with 10 girls or so, and then write messages to anyone who either responded with the same, or at least looked at my profile. Sadly, like a job search, most never responded.
Despite being a computer nerd, I also know how ineffective communicating through e-mail or IM really is. Its fine for communicating once you know someone, since talking on the phone about random crap during the day isn’t a very effective use of time. But it gives people an extra ability to think about what they’re saying, but it also removes almost everything about their personality too. Its what you want them to be like, not how they actually are. So if it seemed to be going well, I would usually propose meeting for a date rather quickly, so we would see if there was anything actually good going on, or if it was a waste of time.
Doing this, after a week of being on the sites, I had a few dates setup the first weekend. I was rather nervous for the first one, and this didn’t make anything easy, but at least I found a good Indian restaurant locally. The second date went well I thought (even if I had lost my freaking mind and had it at my place) but after a few days of sending texts back and forth, I never heard anything from her again. Then I had a whole two days off before meeting another girl. This one went well, although I thought it had gone bad (to be honest, some of the girls started to melt together, so I would forget who did what, so I tended to talk about myself, not the most attractive thing on a first date) but she seemed to really like me (and she was awesome, so score!)…then I had the bad date.
We were supposed to meet at a restaurant (this was my first time doing that, and my first time not giving my cell phone beforehand). I get there a few minutes beforehand, and decided to wait outside the main entrance to the mall the place was in. I awkwardly ran into a kid I went to high school with (who I completely didn’t recognize until half an hour later, which made me feel like an ass)…and after waiting for 10 minutes (she was 5 minutes late) I decided to wait right outside the main door. I then waited another 10 minutes, and decide to leave. I kind of felt bad, but was also just annoyed, but I felt I should be nice and send her an e-mail saying I was sorry we hadn’t met up, and would like to try again. She had gone right into the restaurant (there was no waiting area…and I’m not one to go into a place I’ve never been before and try and meet someone I really don’t know what she looks like anyways,) so we decided to go see a group that was playing near her place in the south wedge. I park at her place, she didn’t leave the light on, so I’m searching around hoping its the right place, and apparently it was.
The second the door opens, I realized the next hour and a half of my life would be a complete waste of time.
She didn’t have the greatest picture on her profile, and I’m not looking for a supermodel, but she looked, and more importantly sounded, like a man. Knowing it would be rude to go “oh, I need to leave cuz you’re ugly and have a deeper voice than I do” I continue none the less. We go play darts (I did try Ben Afflecks line from “Chasing Amy” when he’s asked to play darts…it didn’t work for me either) and then go to see a band play near her place. While we were walking and she was talking about how great the area was, someone asks us if we want to buy weed…classy. At the end, I finally find an excuse to leave, walk back to my car, and the conversation went something like “Well, I’m going to get going” “Oh, umm, alright, have a good night”, but over about 30 seconds because neither of us wanted to admit we’d never see the other again.
Luckily, that was the only real bad date I had. Every other one was fairly similar to the next, pleasant enough people, but no real huge spark. Overall, its been a rather good experience, and I’ve met someone great who I hope works out, but I’m trying to not jinx/let out too much at the moment. One thing I think is funny is that this girl, was the first one who I started to talk to on any of the three sites, and not on the pay one.